And Then I Blinked

And Then I Blinked

 

I’m certain I’ve written this blog post at least five other times, either in my head or on my blog, with different words or coming from different emotions. 

 This week has been a difficult week as all of my little ones have been a bit under the weather and needing as much of Mommy as Mommy has to offer….Tugging at both my heart strings as well as my patience.  (Mommyhood is a job of endurance…there’s no questions about that!  Physical, Mental, Emotional and any other way you can endure something.)  With all of that being said, it’s also been a sweet, tender week.  It’s been a  week that caused me to slow down and spend more time with my kids. 

 Somehow in the midst of all of that, the fact that my babies are quickly growing up hit me square in the face and in the middle of my heart.  I’ve said it before…THREE (years old) is TOUGH, but it also SO VERY AMAZING, so sweet, so funny, so innocent, so full of life, so curious, so compassionate, so loving, so kind, so helpful, so honest, so creative, so imaginative…so special and priceless! 

 There are, no doubt, moments in our days that I wish I could fast forward right through, but I know that without those tough moments, I wouldn’t appreciate those amazing ones quite as much. 

 If you know me at all, you know that I am a very nostalgic person, especially when it comes to my children.  People will often say to me (after finding out that we are having a 4^th baby -16 months after our 3^rd), “Oh, well at least you will have a BABY again!” 

 I know that people mean well when they say this, but I think the ones that say it must only have one or two kids…because here’s the thing… Having another baby only makes your other babies grow up even faster.  I was warned of this subsequent child phenomenon.  I was warned that as soon as I brought home the new baby that my other children would seem so grown.  And sure enough, I left for the hospital and I had my two sweet 2 ½ year old toddlers and I came home to two little boys…now seeming, older, wiser, more mature, bigger, and much less like the babies I had seen them as before.  (This has pros and cons for everybody) 

 

 

 When baby number 4 arrives…I will leave my babies at home… but I still feel like one of them will STILL BE A BABY!  16 months old is still very much a baby to me!!!  I don’t want Ellie to seem big faster than she has to.

 My boys have grown up so quickly and they remind me on a daily basis how big they are getting.  Today after the boys got up from their nap, I went in their room and laid down with them and read stories a bit.  Nolan looked at me and said, “Mommy, I’m getting so big.  Only a little bit more and I’ll be big enough to go to school and for the school bus to come pick me up.”  I nearly burst into tears.  Moments later he said, “Mommy can you rock me like you did when I was a baby? And sing me that song that you used to sing me?”  Then the tears came rolling!! 

I love all of my children so very very much and thank the Lord for each of them.  I have to admit though, the hardest part of being a mom to many (other than the constant chaosJ ) is the guilt that I have always felt for not being able to give more… more time, more attention, more love, more snuggles, more stories, more small moments reserved just for that one child…. 

So, the point of all of this?

I still remember that very moment back in 2009 when I got my very first positive pregnancy test at 6:00 in the morning.  I paced the room back and forth with some kind of excitement that I never knew existed.  (I had, afterall, waited two years for that test!!)  That moment still seems so fresh, and here we are, four years later, with three amazing children and on the way..

 

…I Blinked….

 

I blinked and my life happened!  Pry your eyes open Mommy!  For you will blink again and another four amazing years will have passed you by!  Cherish every moment… big and small; awesome and not so awesome!