Rewind Please

People often ask me, "Do you want another one?" (another baby that is) and depending on the day, the answer changes.  I used to be unable to imagine myself without a little girl, but there are no guarantees there.  If we were to have another boy I would be concerned about the dynamics between that little boy and his twin brothers.  Shortly after our boys were born, I was all about having another one. (I must've still been full of extra mommy hormones, because what person in their right mind would still be getting up to to three times a night and want another baby???) 

After holding one of my favorite babies (other than my own) tonight while teeter tottering with do I want another one, do I not...Looking into his big beautiful eyes on his tiny little body I can't help but think..."Of course I do."  But it wasn't until the car ride home while talking with one of my very best friends did I realize, I don't think it's so much that I want another one...It's that I want mine to be little again. 

We've recently hit some major milestones that are quickly transforming my babies into big boys and as much as I love them, I can hardly stand it.  Though, if you've ever read my blog before you know that I'm always clinging to those babies wishing time could stand still for just a few moments....Moments when my boys look at me and say 'Mama' and wait for me to say 'baby' back to them and we start the game all over again.  Moments when they crawl into my lap, put their head on my chest and give me a big squeeze.  Moments when their laughter and squeals fill the house full of a joy I've never known before. Moments when I ask Nolan if I can have a kiss, he smiles, says 'no' and then puckers up.  Moments when Asher crawls into my lap with a book .  Moments when they anxiously wait for me to tickle them until they can hardly stand it.  Moments when I see both curiosity and success sweep across their faces.  Moments when I look into the eyes of my own baby boys and thank the Lord for the family He has blessed us with. 

These are the moments I wish I could hold onto forever...Moments that are more precious than I could've ever imagined before having children...

So, in response to that common question...I don't know!  This, however is what I know.  I LOVE being a Mommy to Asher and Nolan and wife to Nathan.  I love my family...This is what I was born to do!

 My babies continue to grow...but so does my heart and my unending love for them!