Unexpected Perspective

Perspective….After all, it is the whole basis of this blog.  Sometimes I find the best perspective in the most unusual places.

 

On Mother’s Day (2013) we took my mom into the ER for pneumonia and bronchitis….not exactly the ideal mother’s day…Three days later we took her back and she had to be admitted into the hospital because she was only getting worse. 

 

As I was sitting with my mom last night at the hospital waiting for all of the admission stuff to be taken care of I said half-jokingly, “Luckily, I only have good memories of hospitals.  Don’t ruin that for me, okay mom?” 

 

I think for most people hospitals drum up some sort of strong emotion either positive or negative or possibly somewhere in between.  Despite the loss I have experienced in my life….my grandma (I was really too young to know about it), my Grandpa (who passed away of cancer and spent his final days in our home with us) and my own father….I have somehow escaped the darkness that often surrounds hospitals.  As I was sitting there with my mom, my only association was hospitals and babies…I could still imagine me as a new my cuddled up with Asher and Nolan and trying to figure out how to fit us all in the same bed and more recently, our one quiet night with Ellie at the hospital. 

 

It reminded me again of the decision I made not to go to my dad as he lay lifeless in the hospital bed…He was in Mississippi and I was in North Carolina with two two week old little babies to take care of.  He was already gone and I knew if I went to see him I may forever regret it by replacing my amazing final memories with him with new horrific images….My perspective may be forever changed…

 

More perspective….

 

As I was driving home from the hospital late last night after visiting with my mom I was praying that she would stay healthy and that this would be nothing more than a simple case of bronchial pneumonia and that she would remain with us and healthy for many years to come…I was also thinking…That was the most time I’ve gotten to actually spend with my mom in a long time.  Even though she’s been visiting she hasn’t felt well but on top of that taking care of three kids is a bit time consuming J  As odd as it was…It was great to spend time with my mom last night at the hospital…even laughing and joking…..

 

Perspective.  How much control do you think we have over our perspective?  Do our experiences change our perspective or do WE control our perspective?  Personally I think it’s a little of both, but more the first than the latter?  As strange as it is...I think the 'bad' things that happen to us have the potential to give our perspective a more positive spin...if we let them!

You're A Mommy

Yes, it has been 9 months since my last post...I'd like to think that I could take the time to "catch up" but, if I'm honest with myself, I know that that is just not going to happen!  I've had so many things that I've wanted to blog about, but simply haven't had the time to do it.  Unfortunatley, those ideas and thoughts have slipped away somewhere and got jumbled up with nursing a baby, preparing three meals a day, changing diapers, washing diapers, potty training (which is thankfully FINISHED), dishes, cooking with my boys and lots of memory making.  So, I'll just focus on today's ideas...

How fitting that it is Mother's Day!  My 4th if you want to get really specific....

Mother's Day 2010...Very pregnant with two little boys....

Mother's Day 2010....just a few more weeks of just the two of us...

Mother's Day 2011... Mommy of two almost 1 year olds

Mother's Day 2012...12 weeks with Baby E

and Mommy of two almost 2 year olds

Mother's Day 2013... Mommy of THREE amazing children!!

 (and I got to spend it with my Mommy too:)

 

I'll keep those post short and to the point. 

 

At night when we tuck the boys into bed I think of a few things...Mostly how truly blessed I am to have such an amazing family!  (I've said it before and I'll say it again...) There were many years I thought I'd never know the joy of being a Mommy...The Lord had plans for me...I just had to wait on HIM!  His timing is ALWAYS perfect!  I tuck them into bed and think how blessed we are and how blessed they are to have a MOMMY & A DADDY to tuck them in together.  I realize more and more that this is not the "normal" for our society and that households with both parents are becoming more and more unusual.  (I was a child of one of those households, but I have to say...I think I was better off for it and so were the relationships with my parents) BUT I am so happy to be a part of a family I had only ever dreamed and to be able to offer this love and security to our children. 

 

Like I was saying...after I say prayers with the boys I kiss them goodnight, usually making a funny face.... Every night Nolan says laughing, "Don't be funny, Mommy. Don't be funny. 

 

I reply, "I can't help it, I'm just a funny person." 

 

And he says...It gets me every time... "You're not a person. You're a Mommy!" 

 

I've written about this before... being lost in "just a Mommy" but recently I'm more than happy to be "just a Mommy"  It one of my primary roles in life right now (aside from being wife to my husband).  One day my children will grow up and I won't be "just a Mommy" anymore...

I'll figure out what else I am later! 

 

For now...I'm taking my son's words to heart...

 

"You're not a Person! You're a Mommy!" 

 

....more than I ever dreamed of being... a role I feel both honored and challenged to fill....a role I will be forever grateful for and cherish all of my days....

 

I love you Asher, Nolan and Ellie!  Thank you for calling me Mommy and helping me to become a better person for you!  May you always know that I love you and wish nothing but the best for you!  This has by far been the best Mother's Day yet!!!