We woke early and gathered all five of the bags that I would be taking to the hospital. We piled in the car and my dad followed us in our little truck. He was going to be there for every moment of it. Not long after we got to the hospital my mom and step-dad (a pair I refer to as "my parents) arrived to be part of the celebration as well. For as long as I live I don't know that I will forget this time we spent in that triage room. Most of my life I feared my dad, mom and step-dad and myself, being in the same room. Nothing bad really ever happened, but I had some kind of terrible image in my head the this combination was just like a ticking time bomb. It only happened a few times, but each time it made me very uncomfortable. Not this time though...I was about to become the mommy of two of the most amazing little boys I knew and I was sharing it with the people that meant the most to me. There we all sat in that room...Me, Nathan, my dad and my parents. I don't know if it was the medication, but I remember it being so fun! All sitting around laughing and smiling and joking. I even remember the nurses telling us that people were talking about how they kept passing our room and wondered what was going on in there, why were we having so much fun? :) We were having so much fun because my dad was there. I don't know what was about him, but wherever he was, there was bound to be fun!
I'll skip the horrific details about the spinal that didn't take the first time and what not and skip straight to the part where Nathan came into the room. I hate to say it, but I really don't remember that much. It all happened so quickly. And having a c-section you can't really see or feel much of anything. I could hear the doctors talking and moving their tools around and some tugging...I could feel when they took the first baby out (Twin A - Nolan) and they said, "look at that hair" and I tried to move around as though I was going to be able to see and then, I heard it, the first cry. It was amazing! How can you possibly doubt the power of the Lord when He allows a little 'bean' to grow and develop into a baby? A person! And he was my little person, crying with a set of lungs (that you can still hear today :) I started weeping as I realized I had just become a mommy! (Of course all of this happened within the course of a few seconds) And then, 15 seconds later, more tugging and out came (twin b - Asher) and I heard the cries and more tears flowed down my face! I was so happy!
Skip to recovery room....
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| First time holding both of my babies at the same time...Certainly not the last...It just keeps getting more and more challenging :) |
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| My step-dad (AkA Del), Asher, Me, Nolan, & Nathan...This is Del's classic picture face...eyes closed no matter how many times you take the picture ;) | ' |
All of my family was there to be a part of this amazing moment as the nurses laid both babies in my arms for the first time. I felt as though I was living somebody else's life, a dream come true that certainly couldn't be possible in my own life. I looked down at those babies thinking that just a short time ago I thought I would never know what it would be like to have chilrden of my own and now, thanks to the Lord, we've got two amazing little boys...it was beyond a dream come true, it was an answer to so many prayers and the wiping away of many tears I had cried wondering if I would ever know this moment, if I would ever know this love (a love I didn't even know existed).
It was an amazing moment as Asher and Nolan were passed around the room from one proud member of the family to the next. I look back and think of my dad and my parents and husband posing for picture after picture, seeming to be in just as much amazement as myself. I just watched as the purest kind of happiness unfolded in that room.
Not long after they wheeled me to our room where we would stay for four days. The first day was a bit of a blur as we had SEVERAL visitors.
(These are just a a couple of the visitors that we had...)
It was such a day of celebration and love. Long story short, we stayed in the hospital for four days. Nathan stayed with me the first three nights. My dad spent everyday with me making sure I was being taken care of. He would make sure I was resting, happy, and that I had food and snacks....lots of crackers! :) And nutterbutters! He was so thrilled to be a grandpa. Dare I say he was just about as thrilled to be grandpa as I was to be a mommy. My mom came and stayed with me the final night so Nathan could get some sleep before reality really set in! (Whew and what a reality that was! ;D ....)
My in-laws drove about five hours (one way) to see their new grandsons...which was so kind...especially as they already had at least a dozen others (and one very special BRADY CHARLES ANDERSON born on the same day! WE LOVE YOU BRADY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!)
Here's what I remember most about the hospital...I never felt shut in or desperate to go home. I knew I was recovering from surgery and if I couldn't walk at the hospital I surely couldn't take care of two babies at home. I was certain that I never wanted those babies to leave my side. Most of the time, I was trying to figure out how to fit us all in the bed together. I knew there was a way that we could all sleep comfortably together in that little hospital bed, but I never did find it...at least the comfortable part ;) I couldn't stop looking at my babies. I was terrified I wouldn't be a good enough Mommy. How could I possibly be? They were two perfect little creatures that needed and equally perfect Mommy. How could I possibly love somebody (or two) sooooooo much? I remember telling Nathan, "I love them so much it hurts!"
It has been the greatest blessing to be a part of this first year. To watch and be with them every single day, thanks to my very hard working husband! I can't imagine my life any other way. I've been able to share every new experience with them and for that I am so thankful. I've heard some people say, "A baby's life is easy..." I don't think it's true. The logic behind this is they eat, poop and sleep. I assume those people have never had a baby. In the first nine months the baby has to go from a bean to a baby. That in itself MUST be hard work. In the following 12 months after the baby is born he must learn to open it's eyes, suckle, turn his head, smile, laugh, reach for an object, touch and object, grasp an object, hold his head up, sit, roll over, balance, scoot, crawl, eat off of a spoon, walk...and all the while, this big world is going on right beside of them. After seeing first hand what a baby does in just one year, I don't think it must be easy at all...hard work, yes, exciting, yes, but easy? Certainly not!
Today my precious little boys turn 1 year old. I have always been told that once you have kids time really starts to fly and how true that is. On the one hand, it doesn't seem like a year could've possibly already passed, but on the other, I can hardly remember not being a Mommy to Asher and Nolan. Asher and Nolan changed my life forever. I've never been more deeply happy. They have given me such a purpose and desire to be better everyday. I want to be the best mommy and role model in every way so that they can be the boys, young men and then men that they are capable of being. Above all things, I want nothing more than for our children to grow up to personally know the Lord and accept Him into their hearts, for that would be the greatest devastation of all, getting to Heaven by the grace of God and seeing that your children are absent. Nathan said the other night, "They are our first mission!" And how true that is. It is our job as Christians to lead people to the Lord, and the people at the top of our list are our children!
I love you Asher and Nolan so very very much! Thank you for every reason you have given me to smile, for a happiness like no other. I pray that I will be a mommy that will raise you in the Lord and teach you all that you may need to know! Happy Birthday (my not so baby) Boys!
