Outgoing Call

Today, while driving down the road, I thought about all of the anxiety I was having about “Irene” (a Hurricane headed our way – in case you didn’t now) and picked up the phone to call my dad because I knew he’d cheer me up…Then I remembered…..

This moment caught me so far off guard and sent me into an array of emotions.  I’ve thought about calling him before, but never actually gone through the motions and picked up the phone and dialed his number. 

My dad’s death changed me in more ways than even I am aware of…some good, some not so good, but the greatest is the appreciation for today, the joy in the little things, a new ability to put previous stressors (well most of them) aside to enjoy the here and now, and an amazing capability to recognize all of our many blessings of the Lord. Of the ‘not so good’ are the fear that tomorrow will never come, an urgency to be prepared for the worst, a panic-like need to have my family close by, and an obsession with making and keeping memories recorded and safe.  None of the ‘not so good ones’ are traits that I can say I’m particularly proud of, but it’s here and it’s honest.

After the one year anniversary passed, I thought it’d get easier.  In many ways it has, but I honestly can’t say that I appreciate it.  As I told my mom the other day….I realized I’m thinking of him less and forgetting things about him one by one.  That scares me.  As an only child from divorced parents I have no one to really keep those memories alive with, and for the sake of my children…that devastates me. 

I’ll tell you what I do have though….The big thing that saved me from falling into a dark hole after my dad died….I knew he loved me more than anything.  I knew he was proud of everything I had become.  I knew he respected the woman I was.  I knew he knew how much I loved him.  I knew we had no ill words to speak of one another.  We had long since gotten our grievances out years ago and were able to move forward with freshness and hope.  

I know of many people who will hold a grudge over something for a long time.  That is a heavy burden to be carrying around.  What if your tomorrow never came?  Would you be leaving a loved one behind who questioned your love?  What if your loved one’s tomorrow never came?  Are there apologies that need to be made?  Forgiveness that needs to occur?  Love that needs to be revived?  I think of this so often and am so thankful for the relationship my Daddy and I had – it was amazing.  Although I miss him…I have no question about where we stood with one another - The love between us and special bond could be spotted from a million miles away.  I smile everytime I think about it.

What if your tomorrow never came?  Is there something you need to clear up today?  Are there people that need to know how much you love them?  Don’t take for granted that they know – Tell them!! Today….

Changes, Transitions & Some Smiles Too!

In one short week, my little (babies) guys will be 15 months!  I don’t know that it will ever cease to amaze me how such short periods of time have the capability to change so much.  At twelve months, I could almost convince myself that Asher & Nolan were still babies, but now, a few short days away from 15 months, I can no longer deny the fact that they are toddlers….walking, running, dancing, laughing, joking, playing, climbing and exploring in new ways everyday! 

Toddlerhood with twins brings about a new set of challenges as well as some additional excitement.  Our first big hurdle has been the transition from two naps to one.  I fought this for as long as I could, trying to get my boys to take two naps everyday, but as I watched them they gave me more than enough indication that they were ready for the BIG SWITCH. It was starting to take them longer to fall asleep for their morning nap and then it didn’t last for long.  Then they were unable to fall asleep during their afternoon nap.  They would just lay in their cribs for up to an hour rolling around, talking, singing and giggling.  The biggest indication was the day we were out past their usual nap time and they weren’t acting tired nor did they fall asleep in the car ride home.  I got the message then. So, the transition began.  (about a week ago)  I’ve found that it’s easier to keep them awake in the morning hours if we are out and about, which is pretty fun for us!  It’s still a work in progress…but I think we’ll get there soon enough. 

MOLARS MOLARS EVERYWHERE!  My poor babies…eh-hem…I mean, toddlers, have molars coming in all over the place.  Poor Asher has always cut multiple teeth at one time.  He’s usually a champ about it, but molars sort of changed that.  He has had four molars coming in for the past several weeks as well as one eye tooth!  Nolan has two coming in as well.  That’s seven teeth between the two of them which makes the need for a few extra snuggles! 

Mommy Did What?!

Last month, for the first time EVER, the boys went to bed without the ‘need’ of Mommy.  Nathan put them to bed while I met up with some girlfriends.  It’s strange how it gives me a sense of freedom, yet I still HATE to be away from them.  It happened at just the right time though because I was able to go to dinner with my very good friend, Courtney to celebrate her birthday.  A month ago, I would’ve never been able to do that because I wouldn’t allow myself to be out past 7:30 because I felt the need and desire to be there for Asher and Nolan.  It thrills me to know that we’ve raised children that can feel secure in a variety of settings. 

I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll continue to say it until my little guys are 50 or more, but I do miss my babies, but oh how I enjoy this stage where they can interact with us and even find things comical.  I appreciate the ‘big boy’ that’s starting to come out in them. 

Bedridden & Blessed

You just never know when or where you are going to find a blessing.  Sometimes, the greatest blessings seem to turn out of the most unexpected places. 

This past week I had a 24 hour stomach virus.  While it was only 24 hours…each of those hours were horrendous…filled with nausea, vomiting, multiple trips to the ‘powder room’ and a whole lot of laying around. 

I thank the Lord that my children are (usually) so well behaved..and they have each other to play with! On this day in particular, they were ANGELS!  They’ve must’ve known that Mommy was not feeling well. 

It wasn’t until I laid my head down that night to go to sleep that I realized that despite my constant urge to purge (so to speak) I had a really great day.  I am a ‘go go go’ kind of person, but this sickness left me still and able to sit back and really watch my babies play together and on their own and with me some too.  I felt richly blessed to be able to watch all of the funnies they were doing and the feeling of needing to get up and get the laundry out of the dryer or to clean up the kitchen or to mop the floor or to sweep or to clean the bathrooms had left me completely.  All my body was able to do was to be in that moment with my laughing little boys….and vomit or no vomit there’s nowhere in the world I would’ve rather been!

At Home Fashion



I'm afraid this is what my fashion often looks like...No...This is not my dog, I found this on the internet! 

I recently put up a Facebook status that read, “Calling all SAHM...Have you encountered the SAHM wardrobe...or lack thereof....share your thoughts on this one, would you?!”  I received a tremendous amount of feedback on this issue…so much that it inspired me to blog about it. 

Transitioning from career woman to stay at home wife and mom has changed me in more ways than I sometimes realize.  In the beginning, I was consistent about waking up and getting a shower, doing my hair, putting my make up on a dressing in something that might possibly be considered as cute, or nice.  Then, I started working out and I ditched the morning shower altogether and stayed in workout clothes all day as I felt like it encouraged me to workout anytime I could fit it in during the day. 

Now, in the 200 degree weather, it seems as though I have ditched the morning shower, ditched the workout clothes and the workout and just remained in my pajamas.  Sometimes, I even stay in my pjs all day, take a shower right before my husband gets home from work and then put some new clean pjs back on.  RIDICULOUS!  Needless to say this all leaves me feeling lazy, worthless, unproductive, unorganized and empty of energy and desire.

It’s just so hard to justify putting the time and energy into ‘getting dressed’ when I’m not even going to leave the house.  It doesn’t make sense.  Bending over the bathtub or scrubbing the toilet or mopping the kitchen floor with hair and makeup and boggles?!  Doesn’t make sense right?!

So, there is something powerful about ‘getting dressed.’  When I worked outside of the home I enjoyed putting together nice outfits and pairing them with cute shoes and fun accessories (all for a very thrifty price of course).  In fact, my husband used to ask me why I got so dressed up.  I enjoyed it. It made me feel energized, productive and put together.  It’s strange to me how much clothing can affect us. I was a big fan of ‘treasure hunting’ – going to local consignment shops and finding cute stuff in the midst of dusty smells and one hundred year old sweaters.  There was nothing like it…there in the middle of all of that chaos sat the perfect skirt or a brand new blouse with the tags still attached and in my size…like it was made for me!  Having kids, two 14 month olds, doesn’t allow a lot of time for ‘treasure hunting’ or anything else really.  (One would be different, but two…treasure hunting with two….just not quite as exciting…not to mention how I feel like every dime (and nickel) we have should be spent on our children and their needs and the like)

Don’t get me wrong…On the rare occasion that I go out of the house, other than for church on Sunday, I get dressed up (so to speak)...Shower, Hair, Makeup, Decent outfit and maybe even some accessories.  Who am I dressing for?  Myself?  Yes, maybe.  But there’s somebody more important than myself that I should be ‘dressing ‘for.  My husband. 

My husband met me when I first graduated college - of self-confidence and energy to put into my ‘style.’  We were so young and in love then that even a lack of style was still cute then. I still remember one of the first few times we went to dinner.  I was working as a teacher and I believe it was field day.  He called me last minute and there I was sweaty, board shorts and a hand painted t-shirt that my kindergartners had helped me with.  He thought I was cute J (Guess he was still blinded by love) 

I would like to still be able to draw my husband in the way I did before he was my husband.  I want him to be attracted to me, both physically as well as ways that are far greater than that. 

All that being said, I am in search of a new SAHM wardrobe and style. I’m also in search of the motivation to get into a routine to fit all of this into my already busy schedule. 

Would you believe I’ve seen websites devoted to this kind of thing?!  I must confess, I googled “stay at home mom fashion tips”  and apparently we aren’t the only ones involved in this epidemic! 

One fb friend had a great idea for a new business…SAHM Fashion!  I think it’s a great idea.  If I had any idea of how to start such a business I would jump all over it! 

So for now, I start with myself and invite you to begin with me, if you haven’t already...  To give ourselves and our husbands more than we may already be.  If we were to go to work outside of the home we would strive to dress to a t and arrive to work put together. Being a stay at home is a job I take very seriously.  I feel more responsible for this line of work than I have ever felt for anything…I wouldn’t show up to ‘work’ in a nightgown and I don’t think I should work as a SAHM in a nightgown either.  I suppose we’ve got to figure out where to draw the line? Where does work end and home begin as a SAHM?  But…….that’s an entirely different blog post. 



Caught Off Guard

Have you ever had one of those moments when you're walking along in your normal life and suddenly emotion strikes you like a sword?!  It happened to me today.  I made a quick trip to Wal-Mart to get a few things...mostly some items to make some edible foods for the boys (I have one VERY picky eater) I was in the produce section picking out some kiwi when all of a sudden a father and daughter walked over.  It wasn't anything terribly special, but the daughter (not younger than myself) said, "Do you like mango, Daddy?"and before I knew it, there I stood, at the bananas, my eyes welling up with tears, longing for the simplest of moments with my own Daddy! 

The moment passed just shortly after it began, but the feeling lingered a bit longer.  I returned home to my beautiful family and hugged my boys just a little tighter.....Thankful for the simplest of moments!

You Are Who You Are?

Snuggles for everyone

Agreed! We all have the ability to change bit by bit over the years, sometimes by choice and sometimes it happens without being aware of it.  It’s interesting to me that the ‘quirks’ that I had as a small child have remained with me all of these years.  My personality usually fits squarely and securely inside of a neat little box.  I am organized, strong willed, efficient, neat/clean, open minded, nostalgic and tender hearted.  I worry/concern myself with/think about everything! I like to learn and further my education in all areas of life and I love love love charts and tables…especially color coded ones.  As funny as that all sounds, I dream to be that girl who can fly by the seat of my pants, come up with perfect plans with little planning, indulge in a new hobby and not be afraid of failing at it and live today as if there were no tomorrow.  Luckily, some of these things ARE changing little by little! 

Still, the older I get, the more I realize that we are always changing whether we realize it or not.  I’m sure I’ve changed more in the past year than I have in many years all added together.  Being a mommy (like I’ve mentioned before) changed my perspective and therefore changing me.  I think about being a Mommy everyday and what exactly it is that is best for our children.  I don’t take this mommy thing lightly!  During a recent conversation with my mom, we were discussing this and I realized something so strange.  Typically, I can be a high stress person, but somehow, as a mommy, the stress subsides.  Isn’t it amazing that while trying to do the best for our children we often simultaneously do the best for ourselves?! 

ANYWAY…

Today I took a baby wearing class with my amazing friend, Allison. (Who has walked alongside of me in the mommy journey!) I suppose this is my new version of 'professional development.'  It was so much fun and I learned so much!  I sure wish I would’ve been more educated on this when my boys were younger, but I don’t think the knowledge has come too late. 

Gaby did a great job teaching this class! Check out her post on babywearing HERE The class was held at Green Baby Diaper Service which happens to be my absolute favorite local business!  I really really love this place.  It's like walking a friend's living room each time you step into the door.  So great!

Well, I suppose that’s all for today!  Thanks for reading!

Perfect Perspective

Here lately I have really been thinking about my blog and the title I chose for it almost one year ago…”Mommy’s Perspective” (http://www.fromtheeyesofamommy.blogspot.com/) This is truly the most perfect perspective there is.  I don’t think I realized in when I chose the name, but now I see that when I became a Mommy, my perspective changed!  I’m certain I’ve written about this before, but never with such clarity.  It’s amazing and precious to me how while our children are growing, we are growing as parents right alongside of them. 

From the moment I was made aware of a “baby to be” in my belly (or in this case “babies to be”) my world changed and with every thought and decision that came my way, my children became such a priority.  Now, my boys are nearly 15 months old (which I can hardly believe) and still, the decisions we make as a family, ultimately have their best interest in mind. 

But here’s the perspective I really wanted to get to….Have you ever watched a Mommy and her baby in a brand new situation?  It’s a beautiful thing.  What I mean is…When something new or exciting is happening, watch the mommy…she’s looking straight into her little ones’ eyes to see the joy, excitement and wonder that’s happening for him!  

Like I said, Perfect Perspective!  When something exciting (or even not so exciting) is happening around us, I look into Asher and Nolan’s eyes and it’s like I’m seeing it for the first time in the most perfect and purest way possible!  It is such a special blessing! 

Won’t you share with us, what you see through your child’s eyes?!